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the world is overwhelming and I'm not sure I won't just be scared to literal death someday but it can't be today because I have a fellow grown ass woman to take fucking care of wtf the fuck is my life

it's supposed to be the best time of the year but no my parents are in fucking paris and I'm trying to handle my own mental and physical health issues, babysit my fucking grown ass bipolar stepsister, and not fail my French course, at the same fucking time

*insert friends theme because there was definitely no one who ever told me life would be this way*

*and what about that video with the woman who's like THAT IS NOOT MY JOB because stopping other people's mental breakdowns is totally not my job especially because I can't even stop my own jesus christ save me*

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
badly_knitted
Oct. 30th, 2015 12:01 am (UTC)
*hugs* I know how hard it is to be stuck taking care of someomne else when you can barely take care of yourself, but I'm living proof that it's survivable. However bad amd scary it feels, you're gonna be okay. You're stringer than you think.

*Extra hugs*
clarahow
Oct. 30th, 2015 02:48 am (UTC)
stronger and stranger, it seems :) thank you muchly friend *hugs*
badly_knitted
Oct. 30th, 2015 11:37 am (UTC)
You're welcome, just keep your chin up!

Being strange is a good thing. All the best people are! I know I am ;)
clarahow
Oct. 30th, 2015 10:54 pm (UTC)
I'm with ya on that one ;D
kerkevik_2014
Oct. 30th, 2015 12:05 am (UTC)
Ryouh and Tigger send their love
clarahow
Oct. 30th, 2015 02:47 am (UTC)
Re: Ryouh and Tigger send their love
*smooshes into big hug* thank you, ryouh, tigger, and kerk!
4kennedy
Oct. 30th, 2015 09:19 am (UTC)
oh jeez, that doesn't sound so good :( you seem under a lot of pressure and I wish there was something I could do. Concentrate on one thing after the other, set priorities. 1. your own mental health 2. bipoloar stepsister - maybe raise her dosage? 3. not fail French course. If you do, there's probably a chance to repeat it or try to shift the test, there might be a second audit period and that's at least what my girl does sometimes.
Deep breaths. Pilates or yoga can be helpful too, I know I enjoy pilates way more than I thought I would.
stay strong *hugs*
clarahow
Oct. 30th, 2015 11:02 pm (UTC)
Well, I can only focus on my own stuff, I have no control over my stepsister's medical stuff. And she seems to be doing what she can, it's just hard because there's still a lot in the brain chemistry category that her doctors are working on but don't have under control yet - her mood shifts are pretty dangerous. Not that she ever threatens danger to anyone else, but she's introverted and a self-harmer like me and it's hard to know whether she's okay.

But thank you for your suggestions and kind words *hugs*
4kennedy
Nov. 2nd, 2015 09:31 am (UTC)
I hope they'll be able to figure out all the brain chemistry stuff out soon to get her mood shifts under control especially as they're dangerous.
you're welcome, I've learned - especially from a close friend who's depressive - to give clear advices, try to give motivation to take action instead of giving platitudes... but sometimes people take my direct personality the wrong way. So let me know when I'm overstepping :)
clarahow
Nov. 2nd, 2015 08:49 pm (UTC)
Same :) but my parents are very thorough in choosing doctors so I'm trusting that everyone's doing their best. and my stepsister seems willing enough to reach out in times of absolute need.

no, no, you're good! and that's very good that you've learned that, to be direct and clear. I can get that sometimes it might come off strong but often that's better with anxious and/or depressed people than being very vague. *hugs*
naemi
Oct. 30th, 2015 08:21 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, honey. I know me saying "it will be better" doesn't help much, so I won't, but … *sigh*

*HUGS*
clarahow
Oct. 30th, 2015 10:54 pm (UTC)
*sighs* *hugs tightly*
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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